photo credit- Heidi Jirotka Photography
I have twins, one boy, one girl, who turned 18 in February and who both graduated high school this past June. I also have a 13-year-old daughter, which rounds out our busy family of five. My son has decided to continue his studies this fall at a local school here and my daughter wanted to “go somewhere” and will be attending school a little over an hour away. We have toured the school, found her a great place to live and she is excited and ready to begin this next phase of her life. Letting go…the truth is, I’m ready too.
Holding on
I think I am “supposed” to be feeling a sort of grief over the thought of her leaving the nest and many people continue to ask me “how I am doing” with all this upcoming change. This year is definitely one of transition for our family, but isn’t our goal as parents to raise independent adults who are ready to make their way into the world? (I do have to keep reminding my husband of this, as he does seem to be struggling with the idea of her moving out) I think I am ready for her to make her own way. I am proud of her and excited for what the future holds.
Do you remember being 18 and finally getting away from your know-it-all parents? I do! It was one of the most exciting and invigorating times of my young foolish life. I’m excited for her to experience a new place, meet new people, and start living as an adult, cooking, cleaning, laundry and all!
Letting Go
What I have struggled with recently is moving from parenting a child, to parenting an adult. We go from telling them what they can do and can’t do, to then watching them tell US when and where they will be. This transition has been one of the hardest in my parenting journey, even though we have been building up towards this for years. Giving them our advice, but ultimately letting them make their own decisions, with an occasional “no” thrown in when necessary. Then it’s just hanging on and hoping that all the lessons you tried to teach through the last 18 years, have stuck, or some of them at least.
I know so many people feel conflicted when their children leave, and I’m sure at the time I will find parts of it difficult, and there will most definitely be some tears.( It’s helping that I will still have two other children at home, come back and check on me when the last one moves out. ) I am looking forward to many more memories and excitement over her coming home for a visit or for the holidays. Now when people ask me how I am feeling about all the upcoming change, I tell them how I am feeling… I am excited! It’s all so bittersweet. The truth is that I am feeling ready, or at least as ready as I can be. We hold on as long as we can…and then we let go.
Great post Jen.
Thank you. I actually had it written as a draft months ago.
Very encouraging Jen 😊
Very encouraging Jen 😊
Thanks Kendra. it won’t be easy…but not a whole lot of parenting is. 🙂
Well said Jenn. I’ll be “emptying” our nest next week when we drive Kaylee to UNB Fredricton. I think it would be easier for me if she was closer, but it’s not about me. She overheard me telling someone about “having to drive her” to school and she thought it was a complaint about the trip. But it was more about the fact that I’ll miss her. Exciting times for all of us.
“It’s not about me…” that pretty much sums it up perfectly. Thanks Sheldon….enjoy the “ride”. 🙂
Very poignant 💝. I used to celebrate everystudents ‘visit’ home like Christmas …. Excellent memories …
I agree Margaret…I am already looking forward to the visits/celebrations. 🙂
I’m sending my son off to St Thomas in Fredericton in a week. I’m excited for him but know I will miss him immensely. Good thing my daughter is still at home 😊
I know I will miss my daughter too…but trying to focus on the positive’s for her. A lot of mixed emotions…and helpful I will still have TWO at home. 😉
Beautiful and honest post! I’m sure it will help many parents who are seeing their children off to their next phase of life! ❤️
Thank you…many of my friends are going through the same thing. I just thought I would share my perspective on it as well. 🙂
Being a military family we get used to sending people away – or we’re supposed to. My husband traveled the world for years, but the hardest parting for us was the year he went to a war zone for 8 months and our son went off to Basic to continue the military tradition. I can’t say you’re lucky to have yours so close because there are always worries in a mother’s mind – and excitement that you’ve raised wonderful, intelligent and responsible people. Be content with the change in circumstance, you have guided them down the right path and now can sit back and plan the first big family dinner on the first holiday weekend!
Military families have a special place in my heart for all of their sacrifice…especially the mother’s/wives. Thank you for sharing your experience and thoughts. 🙂
Meeting you through my own son leaving home for the fist time? Ask me how blessed I feel because of that original pain of letting my son leave Halifax for Brigewater. Jen, you’ve brought tears to my eyes, again. Thank you for being you.
Oh Christine…everything comes full circle doesn’t it? I’ve learned a lot from reading all your posts about your children’s journey’s as well. xo
I’ll be keeping this one to read again when I need it… Great read…
Thanks Dana…everyone seems to process this time of life differently….just thought I would share my thoughts. 🙂